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Blog / "Me Asking" or "My Asking"? The Possessive Before a Gerund
"Me Asking" or "My Asking"? The Possessive Before a Gerund
In formal and academic English, when a pronoun or a name comes directly before a gerund (an -ing verb used as a noun), it usually takes the possessive form: "I appreciate your taking the time," not "I appreciate you taking the time." In everyday speech, the object form is common and widely accepted, so this is a matter of register as much as of grammar. The examples below come from sentences people sent to Proofread Bot.
The corrections are written in formal, academic English, so contractions are spelled out in full. Where a contracted or colloquial form is common in everyday writing, it is shown underneath as the informal version.
Why the possessive?
A gerund behaves like a noun. Just as you would write "I appreciate your help" (not "you help"), formal style writes "I appreciate your helping." The thing being appreciated is the helping, not the person.
Pronouns before a gerund
✓ I appreciate your taking the time to talk with me about the project.
Informal: I appreciate you taking the time to talk with me about the project.
✓ What do you think about his buying such an expensive car?
Informal: What do you think about him buying such an expensive car?
✓ What do you think about our buying such an expensive car?
Informal: What do you think about us buying such an expensive car?
✓ He resents your being more popular than he is.
Informal: He resents you being more popular than he is.
✓ Most of the members paid their dues without my asking them.
Informal: …without me asking them.
These "wrong" sentences are not errors in conversation, which is why the informal version is shown. In an essay, a report, or a formal letter, the possessive reads as more polished.
Forms that are wrong in any register
✓ What do you think about his buying such an expensive car?
✓ What do you think about our buying such an expensive car?
✓ Most of the members paid their dues without my asking them.
✓ Their running after the bus was a good idea.
Subject pronouns (he, we, I, they) are never correct in this position.
Names and nouns before a gerund
✓ We were all grateful for Jane's taking on the responsibility for the party.
Informal: We were all grateful for Jane taking on the responsibility for the party.
✓ They objected to the youngest girl's being given the command position.
Informal: They objected to the youngest girl being given the command position.
When the possessive changes the meaning
Sometimes the two forms say different things, so the choice is not only about formality:
- "Whitaker did not like the woman standing in front of him." This means he did not like the woman (who happened to be standing there).
- "Whitaker did not like the woman's standing in front of him." This means he did not like the fact that she was standing there.
- "I saw Jim swimming." Here swimming describes what you saw Jim doing, so the possessive would be wrong. After verbs of perception (see, hear, watch), use the object form.
When to skip the possessive
With long noun phrases or inanimate nouns, the possessive becomes awkward ("the committee of senior engineers' rejecting the plan"). In such cases, rephrase: "the rejection of the plan by the committee of senior engineers," or "the fact that the committee rejected the plan."
Proofread Bot flags these constructions and suggests the formal alternative when your text calls for it.